Current Weight: 296
Weekly Loss/Total Loss: -1/-4
Squares Allowed: 5
Squares Completed: 0
Thoughts on my weekly change
I'm at a critical place. I really just want to give up. I had myself down 5 pounds (as you can see by earning the 5 squares) but... it went up and now its slowly going down.
I did the stairs once. I worked out at home... I kept my portions in decent control.
And yet I sit here feeling like a huge loser.
I really just don't have the umph right now - I want the umph.. I really do. I look at my body and just think I'm the most disgusting thing on the face of the earth.... and I just can't force myself to the high level of exercise needed to shed this weight as fast as humanly possible.
I dunno - I'm just a bit down over it all. Depression is a difficult battle anyway and then top a few things on top that have my nerves on edge and this is what you get.... a really depressive version of what I don't want to be.
Things I have changed in the last week
I did the stairs. I did a couple work outs at home.
Other than that... I'm still kinda blah about the whole thing.
Things I want to do next week
I want to have a two pound loss. I really do - but I have this fear in the pit of my stomach that says I'll be lucky if it stops at a 2 pound gain.
So next week I want to do the stairs, do more exercise at home, maybe even get in a run through the neighborhood.
No pictures this week as I haven't hit a 10 pound milestone.